I eat unrefined food. I don't do flour or sugar. This year, like always, my family will join some dear friends to celebreate Thanksgiving Day, and we will bring several dishes to share.
My friend doesn't believe in my 'easy does it, less is more' Thanksgiving idea. She wants to go all out, all the traditional foods plus 4 or 5 new ones, it isn't Thanksgiving unless everyone is groaning in pain afterwards.
I a used to cooking for people who eat a more traditional American diet. None of my family chooses to eat like I do, and I didn't get the nickname manicbaker for nothing. I baked cookies, cupcakes and pies for my coworkers and family several times a week. That being said....I am rethinking my position.
There was one woman at work who did eat like me, and she asked me why I bring all that stuff when I don't eat it myself...I told her it was because it made people happy. That was about 2 months ago, now I've had time and some significant life changes to think about all that and I see that I was not being quite honest. I mean, yes, they knew I didn't eat that way, and they truly did enjoy the goodies...but there was an element of me not feeling that I am good enough and wanting to buy affection with what essentially amounts to a drug.
Now I am faced with Thanksgiving and there are a few important issues here...one is that if I don't bring dishes that fit my eating choices, I will have very little to eat. Other than the turkey itself, the food my friend told me she is making are not foods I eat. And if I love and cherish these people, then isn't it a gift to bring good, healthy, tasty nutritious food to them? It not only can please the palate that day, but perhaps awaken them to the idea that food tastes good, even when it's simple.
I know that my friend and family are expecting me to crank out the traditional favorites. On my birthday last week I cooked for them, we all ate the roast, but the sides were mine and theirs....gunky sweet potato marshmallow casserole for them, baked sweet potato with the skin on and no accoutrements for me. They had creamed noodles, I had whole cooked grains. They had gingerbread for dessert, I had a coconut custard with no refined sugar (dates!)
I am thinking of how to bridge this gap. I was asked to bring an appetizer...and am thinking good cheese with thin sliced fruit and veggies to put it on...rather than crackers or dip.
And some sides...maybe a slaw, crispy and tangy and fresh fresh fresh...buttered corn is simple and delicious, or rasted vegetables, skins on of course...
Dessert...is there anything more sacred to people than their desserts? I made a lovely coconut custard the other day, my husband claimed it didn't taste like anything and had a funny texture...shot down.
Maybe an apricot whip...dried apricots stewed with dates for sweetness, then mixed with beaten yolks and folded into beaten whites and baked.
Or a cheesecake, also lightly sweetened with whole or dried fruits.
One of my favorite desserts is a half cup of frozen blueberries...not sure how that would go over.
None of the desserts I eat offer the sugar rush reward that people are accustomed to. I've come to love that about them, there is no crash later, but others feel cheated.
I love to gather with my friends for the holiday, but this is one area that I've had issues with for years. My deep internal urge to keep it simple. When we did Thanksgiving on our own, I DID keep it simple. Turkey, two veggies, bread, a starch and dessert. No days of cooking or cleaning up after for a 20 minute glut.
My compromise will most likely be simple but not "spartan" as they feel my diet is. Maybe a bean salad...and maybe oatmeal cookies for dessert, or black forest brownies...I'll throw them a sugar bone...that is what people expect of me.
During this week preceeding the holiday, I think I'll do some meditating on my relationship with holiday feasts. what causes ME to feel cheated? What are we saying, honoring and observing with the foods we make and serve? Are we celebrating or compensating? I think that last question is the one I really want to work on...am I celebrating or compensating...am I afraid that enough is not enough?
Happy Thanksgiving
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